When I was a child, I never questioned my bicycle. My parents adjusted the seat and told me where I could and couldn’t ride. I trusted it all. It fit the version of me I was then.
Our beliefs often begin the same way.
We don’t choose them, they’re handed to us. Ideas about success, religion, money, relationships, right and wrong.
At first, they work. They protect us. They help us balance when we’re too young to understand the world on our own.
But then we grow.
One day, the seat feels too low. You feel cramped.
You meet different people. You experience new roads. Something you were taught no longer fits your reality.
The frame of a bicycle is like your core values. Some are strong and worth keeping, like kindness, honesty, respect, and so on.
But sometimes fear or limitation is built into that frame too.
It says, don’t dream too big. Stay where it’s safe. If the structure is too rigid, every bump feels harder than it should.
The handlebars represent direction. For years, your parents steer. Eventually, your hands must take over. Turning them yourself may feel uncomfortable at first. It may even feel like you’re doing something wrong. But learning to steer doesn’t mean you’re rejecting your parents, it means you’re growing.
The chain transfers effort into movement. If it’s rusty, you pedal hard but don’t move smoothly. Some beliefs push you forward. Others quietly hold you back.
Unlearning is not about throwing everything away. It’s about cleaning, adjusting, and sometimes replacing what no longer helps you move.
To the Young Ones,
Don’t rush to reject everything you were taught but don’t be afraid to question it either. Ask why. Seek understanding. Listen to your parents with respect, but also listen to your own experiences.
Adjust your seat as you grow. Keep the values that make you kinder and wiser. Let go of beliefs that shrink your confidence or limit your compassion. Surround yourself with people who challenge you to think, not just agree.
Most importantly, keep moving.
Your parents helped you start the ride.
Now you must learn how to ride it well, for
yourself.
✍️ Amara Ann Unachukwu.
