It is widely accepted that no human is perfect, and everyone is prone to mistakes in their behavior. This applies to both adults and children, but in a family, children are sometimes unfairly judged or blamed by their parents, even when the parents are the ones at fault. Similarly, some children misunderstand their parents’ good intentions and resist any attempts at correction.
Hence, parents tend to ignore their flaws while emphasizing those of their children, and children criticize their parents for an act, using their role as children as a shield to focus only on their parents’ flaws.
As a result, both parents and children become oblivious to their blind spots, focusing solely on the flaws of the other.
Harold A. Buetow is a Catholic priest and author who applies scriptural wisdom to real-life situations. In his teaching on blind spots, he highlighted the tendency for people to recognize only the shortcomings of others while overlooking their flaws. He stated that conservatives see the blind spot of liberals, liberals of conservatives; the poor see the blind spots of the middle classes, the middle class of the poor and the rich. Children see the blind spots of adults and adults of children. He emphasised that acknowledging our limitations helps to promote empathy and social unity and bridge societal gaps. He advised everyone to be self-aware of their blind spots and have a genuine understanding of the plight of others, to promote social cohesion.
In some families, this issue of blind spots plays out so well between parents and children causing each party to blame the other and feel right all the time. This can take different shapes and strategies. Some parents can be blind to a lack of caring relationships with their children or emotionally blind to the plight of their children. Children can be blind to their failure to fulfil their responsibilities as children. This is part of the issue in some families.
Buetow’s insight suggests that recognizing our limitations can lead to more productive relationships rather than misunderstanding and division. Thus, in a family, both parents and children must acknowledge their shortcomings and seek ways to correct them and foster a stronger parent-child relationship.
This highlights the need for parents and children to be self-aware towards each other and make a conscious effort to bridge relationship gaps for a genuine understanding.
Parents must be aware of their children’s struggles rather than being consumed by disappointment, resentment, bitterness, ambition, or lack of forgiveness. Children should recognize their parents’ challenges and appreciate their family’s uniqueness, avoiding negative influences or peer pressure from shaping their lives.
Ultimately, every family is unique and should support one another with genuine understanding. This requires humility from both parents and children to recognize their shortcomings and make adjustments for the well-being of the family. The responsibility of ensuring that this happens falls on the parents to tolerate and guide their children towards a productive family relationship and understanding.
To every parent, I leave you with this beautiful quote by Assegid Habtewold, quote, “As a leader, 1st, work on yourself- increase your self-awareness. There shouldn’t be any other urgent agenda than this. Get enlightened! Know very well who you are including your strengths, weaknesses, and blind spots!”
While taking actions and making decisions, remember not to leave your blind spots behind!
✍️ Amara Ann Unachukwu
