Last Sunday in church, the priest called two people to the altar for a birthday blessing, 10 and 18-year-old girls, respectively.
While he was blessing them, the 18-year-old was standing, crossing her legs and looking at him. The 10-year-old was putting her hands in the pocket of her jacket, also looking at him. None of them bowed their heads or portrayed any countenance of prayer.
When the priest was giving the last blessing that says, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, only the 18-year-old did sign of the cross. The 10-year-old was still looking at him. The priest had to take her right hand and do the sign of the cross for her. Kaima, who was serving at the altar, quickly stared a glance at me. I looked at my other children to see if they observed anything, they looked at me too. That became the topic of our discussion that evening.
It was an embarrassing scene for me, I don’t know about their parents, not every parent will see it that way. Clearly, there are expected conducts in every gathering, every child should be taught that. It starts from the home, the simple prayer that families do. Those children conduct during a blessing by a priest, before an altar of God, tells a lot about the kind of family they came from.
Nevertheless, children can be unpredictable at times, they have a way to make their parents feel inadequate no matter the effort put in raising them. Parenting is a work in progress, you learn on the journey and teach as you learn. While some lessons get absorbed like soap in a sponge, some wither away like plant leaves in spring. Sadly, some lessons are neglected, either the parents are oblivious to them, or they care less to pass it on. Whichever way, parents grow, evolve and learn new parenting skills every day.
Parenting is a never-ending journey filled with a delicate balance of pride and disappointment. The success of parenting doesn’t lie only in seeing your child achieve milestones in life.
It extends to the realization that he can represent you, his family, community, nation and beyond, anywhere and at any time.
It is the pride of knowing that your child is distinguished for good conduct and sound reasoning in a gathering.
It is the assurance that your child can work through challenging times without you.
It is the confidence that your child can face his fears and dare age-appropriate calculated risks with courage.
It is the trust that your child is wise enough to make some decisions in life and steer through them seamlessly.
It is the fulfilment when your child in turn becomes your teacher, your leader and has laid the way to a better world for the family and beyond.
There is no short cut to it. But knowing better is doing better and in doing better lies the magic.
Happy parents are intentional parents. Yes, intentional parenting is usually easier said than done, but trying and making conscious attempts are enough to reflect a well-raised child. The rest is for God to perfect.
✍️Amara Ann Unachukwu
