“The swelling of the womb is not all that makes a mother”
I heard this quote from a Nollywood movie I saw recently (Titled Broken Hallelujah) and it resonates with me.
It defined motherhood beyond the biological experience and left me to ponder on these questions.
What more is to motherhood after carrying and birthing a baby? Is it the caregiving and nurturing? Are there other core aspects of motherhood? Can a woman be a mother regardless of birth?
No doubt, the physical aspect of motherhood is only the beginning of so much more.
The physical bond, the quiet moments, the instincts of knowing what’s wrong or right, the gentle touch that soothes the pain of the child, the words that heal the wounds and the sacrifices made without complaint are all that make a mother.
What of the emotional labour, the self-sacrifice, the identity shift and the mental load that mothers carry in their minds and hearts every single day?
The movie reveals that true motherhood is in the strength within every woman that makes her continue to keep on despite the odds. It is in the daily choice to show up, to love deeply, to hold space for someone else’s growth while often putting her own needs second. It’s staying up through the night with worry in her heart. It’s listening when no one else will. It’s holding you close when the world feels too big and overwhelming.
That’s the big difference between birthing and mothering a child. And that’s why many people are mothers to others, knowingly or unknowingly.
To understand motherhood is to understand the difference between one who gave you life and one who gave you love. One who birthed you from one who chose you, stood by you and became your safe place. One who shares the same biology with you and one whose unwavering presence, care, commitment, and love you enjoy every day.
That’s the kind of love that shapes a life and that’s the kind of love only a true mother can give, biological or not.
Cheers to all the mothers who represent these and to the people who are not biological mothers but have embodied these virtues in the lives of others.
You bear the soul of true motherhood!
✍️Amara Ann Unachukwu
