I once read a quote by Russian playwright Anton Chekhov that said, “Don’t tell me the moon is shining, show me the glint of light on broken glass”. Whilst I do not condemn telling for there is a place for it in every story, in parenting, there are more reasons to show more than there is to tell.
This picture was taken in 2005 during my service (National Youth Service Corp) year. My Dad invited me to a conference in Abuja. It was a United Nations Leadership Program. I travelled from Jigawa State where I was serving to Abuja and attended it as a guest.
It was my first opportunity to meet and greet with intellectuals whom my Dad introduced me to. There were different speakers on many topics and I watched with pride as my Dad delivered his speech so remarkably.
Before the conference, my Dad said to me, I’m sure you have a pen and paper. That prepared me to know ahead to jot down lessons as I listen from the beginning to the end.
This is a good example of the showing aspect of parenting. My Dad had the option of sending the materials of the conference to me rather than inviting me. He had the option of calling me on the phone to discuss it with me. We had the option of waiting to discuss with me whenever we saw each other. But he chose to invite me to witness it and that made a great difference. Seeing the people, and feeling their charisma connected me emotionally to the dignitaries in that venue. Beyond the lessons I jotted down, witnessing it gave me more reasons to believe in greatness and it propelled me towards that.
In parenting, it’s more compelling and more tangible to show rather than to tell. As the saying, action speaks louder than voice. As a parent, show your values and align them with your actions. Show what’s involved, the process, the outcomes and consequences, the fun, the rules, the care the love and so on. Be descriptive. Practice what you preach.
Showing is more inspiring than telling. Let your children imagine and see life from what you have shown them more than what you tell them. Show your personality, don’t tell it. Show your commitments, don’t tell it. Show your responsibilities don’t tell it. Show your results, don’t tell it. Don’t only inform, allow your children to deduce and see in their mind’s eyes and make them part of the experience.
Are you more of a showing parent or a telling one? Check your showing versus your telling radar and master more, the art of showing.
✍️Amara Ann Unachukwu
