The Catholic gospel reading last Sunday, 3rd March, was about the story of Jesus being openly aggressive with the traders in the temple. He made a whip and drove them out of the temple for desecrating His father house. Jesus was obviously consumed by emotions and zeal, which was a positive aggression needed for the advancement of God’s kingdom. Though the bystanders and friends of Jesus were surprised and taken aback by the change in his personality, it did not make them look at Him in a negative light because he aggressively fought for what was right.
Our survival is our individual responsibility. We can not downplay the gear of willpower and guts as positive forces needed to address situations that are potentially detrimental in life, or to dismiss other positive emotions needed for advancement in life.
Positive aggression is necessary when unavoidable external pressures warrant being assertive, setting boundaries, and standing up for oneself. This assertiveness requires saying no to unwanted distractions and sticking to what matters in achieving a particular goal.
Positive aggression also entails being proactive, making a defined choice, and going for it, not minding the obstacles on the way. It involves having the right attitude and state of mind to handle a task at a given time. It demands resisting the challenges posed by life insecurities or doubts and embracing the inner voices and talents. It necessitates employing positive energy while subduing the negative ones. It calls for fighting for our individual rights and the rights of others when the situation demands.
A child needs the daring of positive aggression to curb bullies and to overcome the fears of failure. A parent or a teacher needs it to raise the children/wards under their care and to take space from difficult situations of parenting/teaching. An employee needs it to navigate tough moments at work, to command optimism, and to pursue his potential. Employers need it to enforce administrative authorities. Families need it to form a positive family relationship. The religious also need it because the bible encourages the violence to take it by force. We all need positive aggression when our needs, purpose, or vision are at stake.
It is therefore important for everyone to form a healthy relationship with aggression. There is a strength in it that needs to be harnessed and embraced, which will do a great service to our wellbeing. There are times when speaking up is required, times when taking action is required and times when staying silent is required.
Do you suppress undesirable thoughts or turn off bad feelings? Do you project the lenses through which people see you and fear their judgement instead of taking your space? Are you more concerned with what people think of you, or do you surrender to the impulse of being honest about your thoughts and feelings? These and more are ways to become passive in aggression and develop a feeble personality. Positive aggression encourages reframe from these excess tolerance to confronting toxic situations for a happier life.
However, positive aggression, if taken to extreme, could result in violence or hostility, which are driven by negative emotions, resulting in negative aggression. These are the dark sides of aggression and also the dark sides of human nature that should neither be condoned nor tolerated.
Amara Ann Unachukwu
