Two brothers who were raised by same parents, in same environment and under same circumstance, grew up to be two different personalities. One was very hardworking, resourceful and a successful man. The other was the opposite, a reckless and wretched fellow. Both were asked what inspired them to be who they are and they both answered, their parents. So, whilst one chose to sieve the best from the worst and made a good life out of it, the other chose to sieve the worst from the best and made a miserable life out of it. This demonstrates the power of conscious and sub conscious decisions and the reward of finding the hidden value in every life situation.
We all grew up in different ways and raised by different parents in different environments. Ordinarily, these are factors that shape our personality. However, our background is not in entirety, a factor of who we are, rather who we choose to be determines who we become. Most likely, we can overcome the limitations of the family we come from and create the family we desire. Parents need to know this and children need to understand this. Life is what we make of it regardless of the odds in it.
As emphasized in our previous article, we have more positive experiences in life but our brains are wired to focus more on the negative experiences. No family has it all but any family can choose to be perfect. Being perfect doesn’t mean being wholesome but being happy and finding fulfillment in life. To create a happy family, parents must learn to make the good out of every situation and children must learn to make acceptance an immediate priority. Our poor background, negative experiences, bad family orientations, can actually provide the impetus for a happy and successful life. It all depends on how we accept the ones we cannot change, challenge the ones we can change and give our best towards the life we desire.
Steps towards a happy family life
- Identify the errors. Many errors may be at play in a situation, from our parents to the environment, to the family orientation and other odd circumstances around us. Knowing them is the first step towards dealing with them.
- Don’t repress them. Once identified, map out plans to deal with them one after the other. These include the spiritual and physical aspect of it. Prayer and good works must work hand in hand to achieve this.
- Avoid comparison. We are all unique in a lot of ways. Focus on who you are, walk in your lane and mind your destined path.
- Understand that no condition is permanent and that at the bottom of every shithole is a buried gold. The confidence should be in the hope of a better tomorrow.
- Take advantage of the odds to your favour. Yes, you can maximize the light and minimize the darkness through conscious efforts.
- Change your perspection and count your blessings. Happiness is a choice and a major requirement to a successful living. Stay positive and happy always.
- Focus on your capabilities. Keep your mind on the horizon and open your mind to love and kindness.
- Practice patience. Come up with ideas to deal with set backs and make firm resolutions.
- Meditate always and be intentional about the steps you’re taking. Set goals and tick as they’re achieved.
- Practice contentment. Complain less and limit expectations.
The impacts that suffering and happiness have in us lies in the way we tolerate and react to them. Power of control is what makes situation bad or worse, we have more power that we can realize and we need to maximize the positive use of it. Parents need to be aware that there are many things to do to change the present for a happy future.
The question is, Is it better to complain because roses have thorns or to rejoice because thorns have roses? The answer lies in our perception and steady disposition to change the narrative against all limitations. It is doable, many have risen from miry clay to top mountains. As a child or a parent, whether your background is whole or not, happy or not, choose to create your desired family by making significant contributions towards it.
Amara Ann Unachukwu
