I decided to write about this topic because it affects 90% of today’s parents and its gradually eating deep into our family lives and value system. Personally, I need it as a reminder and measure to curb my social media involvements.
Undoubtedly, our children are not the only ones entangled in social media addiction. Parents are as well and parents over indulging should be taken more seriously because the crops cannot survive when their roots are affected.
Are children affected by their parents social media addiction? A study by Evang. Ray Houston of Rhema Childrenโs Ministry, shows that parents who are constantly checking their phones for texts, email and social media updates are more likely to have kids who misbehave than people who are able to step away from their screens. Yes, parent’s social media addictions can influence their child’s behavior in a negative way and cause parenting problems. Children need their parent’s attention and the level of attention depends on each stage of a child’s life. Most misdemeanours in children are caused when they lack proper parental attention.
I implore parents to examine themselves based on the attention they give their children versus what they give to their cell phones especially on social media frivolities. If you notice some signs of addiction against your parental roles, here are some few steps that may be helpful:
1. Set aside phones and tablets during meal time. Turn off or silence your device during this time. Meal time is a key time when parents have the opportunity to connect with their children and engage in conversations. Discussions and chats before and after meal are so interesting and crucial to family life and it facilitates family love and bonding.
2. Unfollow some social media pages that don’t add value to your life. Pages that promote social vices. Interesting or therapeutic as they may be, the truth is, you don’t need them and you get more addicted to them than the ones you truly need. You can read or listen through when they pop up on your screen but following them is a big distraction that gets you dangerously addicted.
3. Allot time for social media as well as for your children. For young children, you can have question and answer time once, twice or more in a week depending on your schedule. Be very intentional about it and take it seriously. Larry Rosen from the California State University says, “Parents that are worried about how technology disrupts their family time can try to carve out periods of each day when the devices go away and they focus only on their kids. Children crave a connection to their parents and learn from their parentsโ behaviors. Constantly checking your phone is going to have a negative impact on this connection.โ
3. Try to make only meaningful posts on social media. Some parents feel the pressure to post always whatever comes to their mind and carefully watch how many “likes” the pictures/posts bring and blush over some comments. The time wasted to check and respond to comments are often underrated.
4.Take a vacation from social media during holiday. Yes, take pictures, but do not get so absorbed with posting them, liking and responding to comments that you don’t maximize the time with your children and miss the magic of the moments.
The fact remains that we cannot do without social media involvement or pressing our phone. To some, it is their means of livelihood, they need to promote their pages through unswerving activeness. To others, it is a major distractor from challenges and difficulties. And another, their means of learning…and so on. Moderation is key! Yes, we need to make money, connect to our world, be in tune with developments around us, ease off stress and do what makes us happy. However, we must be conscious and selective of this and avoid addiction at all cost, not at the expense of our parental responsibilities. The danger is, it may be too late to make amends by the time we realize the damage.
Let’s make a paradigm shift and be resolute about it. We can make the pull gradually from the addiction towards meaningful connections with our children.
Amara Ann Unachukwu.
