There are times when I reflect on certain actions, decisions, or words from my past, and I feel a deep sense of shame. I wonder, what was I thinking? How could I have thought that was okay? Why did I not handle things the other way? And so many other disappointments we feel from our past as we mature.
It’s something we all experience, those mistakes we eventually outgrow and wish we hadn’t made. Growth comes from acknowledging them and choosing to do better. That’s where reflecting within through character appraisal comes in, not as a judgment, but as a gentle check-in with yourself to stay grounded, kind, and true to what matters most.
What Is a Character Appraisal?
Think of it like looking in a mirror, not to fix your hair, but to reflect on your heart. It’s a moment to pause and ask questions like;
How have I been treating others?
Have I been honest, kind, and respectful?
Am I proud of how I handled things lately?
Have I stood on the truth even when it was uncomfortable for others?
Did I act from love or did I act from ego, fear or stress?
Did I stand up to what mattered or stay quiet out of fear?
Who do I need to check in with, apologise to, or thank?
This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being aware. It helps us to catch small things before they become big things, notice areas where we need to grow, realign with our values when we’ve drifted off and to become better, more thoughtful, more consistent, and more whole.
A Note for Kids and Youths especially;
You don’t have to wait until you’re older to start thinking about who you’re becoming. In fact, the earlier you build self-awareness, the more confident and wise you’ll feel over time.
Periodically, you can ask yourself;
Am I treating people how I want to be treated?
Do I need to speak up or do better in this situation?
Am I lying, gossiping, or hurting someone, even if it is a small thing?
Should I apologise to or thank someone?
And many other questions that resonate with your conscience.
You can think about these while brushing your teeth, walking home, or writing in a journal. If you’re not sure how to handle something, talk to a trusted adult or friend. You’re not alone in figuring things out.
Always write down the things you’re proud of, and the things you want to work on. Small steps lead to big changes over time.
Whether you’re 8 or 80, checking in with yourself helps you stay in touch with your values. The truth is, growing into your best self doesn’t happen by accident. It happens on purpose, with little choices, honest reflections, and regular check-ins.
No one gets it right all the time. What matters is the willingness to reflect and grow.
✍️ Amara Ann Unachukwu
