The need to battle toxic masculinity and to foster more happy homes in the future, necessitated this topic. Raising children, male or female, is never smooth sailing. Parents are advised to have a vision in mind, just like they do in their careers or in business ventures. Families should know what they want, things that are acceptable or unacceptable, the goal they want to achieve in present and in the future, the memories they want to create and the experiences they want to have, the wisdom and the values they want to inculcate. These would determine the joy and happiness they want to behold on the long run. It is a goal that must be well planned and carefully channeled to be achieved. Parents are implored to be intentional about this in raising their children.
Every child is different and a boy child is wired differently from a girl child in a whole lot of ways. Raising a boy child is not for the faint hearted but it is a huge blessing if he grows to be an amazing man that everyone is proud of. Parents need to be conscious of raising a well mannered, well rounded, happy and a fulfilled man in the future.
The bible verse that says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”( Proverbs 22:6), is a focus point of every Christian parent while raising their children. This verse is a reminder that what they sow in the lives of their children is what they’ll reap in their future. In the society today, there are more focus on raising a girl child than a boy child and the result is an unbalanced outcome where women are more responsible, more committed and more prepared for the future than men. This is an obvious fact and there is need to change the narrative in order to achieve a wholesome balance between both gender.
What is our focus on this topic? What different methods do we need to adopt in raising the boy child? The focus is to be intentional about the morals, values and beliefs to inculcate in raising the boy child. The idea is to expand our understanding of manliness and change the narrative.The methods are many but let’s take these few compiled tips.
- Recognize that each boy child is a hero and needs to be geared towards becoming so. This trait is in the DNA of every boy child so there’s need to give them every opportunity to watch, play, pray and develop this heroic nature. The truth is, boys are wired to be strong, daring and adventurous, that’s why some tasks are designed exclusively for men.
- Model Praying. Super heroes are prayer warriors. Let him know the importance of communicating with God. Start by allowing him lead in mealtime prayers, memorize Bible verses, take turns to pray, acknowledge God in whatever he’s doing. Sadly, we have more praying women than men and that gap needs to bridged.
- Show him love and teach him manners at the same time. There is a significant loophole in this aspect of raising a boy child. Boys need to be humble, appreciative, grateful, respectful, courteous and obedient. Teach him these from home. Stay watchful and observe how he relates with his siblings and friends in this regard. Correct him as soon as it’s necessary. Scold and discipline him when necessary. Advise him with practical instances and bare all implications to him. Educate him always about the needs and gains of every action and inaction involved. Pray with him to achieve these.
- Teach him to be responsible and focused. Give him age appropriate chores. Make him understand the need to take responsibility and not apportion blames or find fault in others. Discuss his emotions with him and how best he can handle them. Have a conversation with him as often as possible.
- Teach him to be reserved in words and deeds, to say please, sorry and ask for forgiveness. Let him make mistakes and learn from it. He must know the value of hardwork and understand the core responsibilities of a man. He must be independent in mind and in deeds. Teach him how to respect others opinion, to have empathy, have home etiquette and say I love you often.
- Teach him how to live a healthy and fulfilling life. He must know and understand his roots and family traditions, how to preserve his culture, his language and family history no matter his level of education or exposure in the future.
- Let him know lack to an extent, let him get bored at some point. He must not take any gift or opportunity for granted. Set and enforce boundaries for him.Teach him age appropriate money management and guide him on that as he grows. Teach him self worth and discipline.
- Encourage him to be neat and teach him personal hygiene. He should be taught how to cook, match cloths, fix broken things and be independent in some tasks.
- Don’t compare him to other children, build his confidence. Let him focus on effort not ability. Allow him take risks. Encourage him to read and develop himself. Focus on building on his interests and invest in them.
- He must understand his responsibilities at home, in school and in the society. He must take this seriously and be conscious of who he is and the contributions he needs to make to better his environment. More importantly, he must understand that girls are not lesser beings but more fragile and needs to be respected and protected.
These are some useful tips that would help a boy child discover himself, his abilities and be prepared to become an amazing man, husband and father in the future.
“Men are what their mothers made them.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson. There is a hero in every boy child. Raise him as one and watch him become one!
Amara Ann Unachukwu
