Dear Parents,
Do you have a roadmap for who you want to raise as a child?
Ever stop and think, not just how I’m raising my child, but who I’m trying to raise? Not in the sense of, I want them to be a doctor or I hope they go to Harvard University and so on. No. I mean deeper than that. Who are they becoming as a person? What kind of human am I helping shape?
This is a question I’ve been sitting with lately. Because parenting can be so full of day-to-day busyness that we can go weeks or months without pausing to ask, What’s the big picture here?
Parenting is not a checklist, but a compass. It’s not a strict plan or a list of expectations. Children are not blueprints, they’re living, growing people, full of surprises. But having some kind of roadmap or maybe, a compass helps.
A roadmap helps to guide them toward the kind of person you hope they become. Not perfectly. Not all at once. But over time.
So ask yourself..
Do I want to raise someone who’s kind, even when it’s hard? Someone who tells the truth, even if their voice shakes? Someone who can bounce back after failure, and not crumble under pressure? Someone who sees others, listens, and gives a damn?
That’s the kind of roadmap I’m talking about. You can create yours and add to the list.
It should be values over victories.
It’s easy to get caught up in achievements. Grades, trophies, awards, recognitions. And sure, those things matter, kind of. But I think we all know, deep down, that raising a kind, thoughtful, grounded human is worth more than any resúme line.
So let your roadmap be like this..
I want my child to treat everyone with respect, to stand up for someone being picked on, to know they’re enough, even when they mess up, to laugh a lot, love well, stay curious and so on.
But you have to live it too. That’s what makes this whole roadmap thing tricky, and beautiful. Because kids learn by watching us so we have to be what we want them to be. Even when we don’t get it right all the time, showing up and making conscious efforts matter and it’s part of the roadmap too.
It’s not about control. It’s about giving them a foundation and then letting them become their own person, with your values as a kind of steady background music they can come back to.
You don’t need a five-year plan. But having some intention, some heart-level clarity about who you’re trying to raise, that can change everything.
✍️ Amara Ann Unachukwu
