Our mind is always in conflict with our ‘shoulds’ and our ‘wants’, and self-control is the blend between them. Self-control is one the greatest traits anybody can have and a core aspect of character formation. Self-control is the ability to regulate emotions, impulses, or behaviours for a desirable outcome.
Some people are born with the natural ability to control their emotions, while some need to intentionally develop the skill. Everybody needs self-control; adults and children alike because it is a good habit built on discipline, which helps to control bad habits. Some adults have mastered the act of self-control through the practice of emotional intelligence, but children and young adults are more prone to impulsive behaviour and emotions because they’re more inclined to unhealthy coping mechanism. Thus, they overwhelmingly lack the skill and ability to self regulate their emotions.
Our society today is filled with youths who lack self-control and are easily given to unethical decisions and bad habits. They lack the physical and mental discipline to put their emotions in check, and they think more of the moment than future outcomes.
Consequently, we witness many youths nowadays who yield to temptations of different vices that they prioritize impurity over integrity. They measure success by monetary value, forgive less and resent more, are unable to manage stress and disappointment, and they submit quickly to the desires of flesh. They think more of what is beneficial instead of what is right, and this impulsivity makes them irrational, unstable, and less likely to achieve a long-term goal.
Self-control can be best achieved through self-consciousness. Every child must learn from an early stage to consciously face challenging situations instead of avoiding it. Parents need to provide a framework called “scaffolding,” where children are shown the acceptable behaviour and approach needed to overcome challenges on their own. According to Jim Rohn, “We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret and disappointment.” The pain of discipline is tough but beneficial, against the pain of regrets that is painful and long lasting.
The deplorable ethical and moral conditions of our youths today are aftermath of lack of self-control. Their desire for ill gotten wealth, the rise in number of ‘side chicks’ and ‘baby mama’s’, ‘hook ups’, cyber bullying, domestic violence, physical and sexual abuse, family rivarly, rituals, diabolism, poor money management, lavishness, alcoholism, substance abuse, robbery, cultism, thuggery, gambling, rape, aggressive and deviant behaviours, lustful acts, pre marital sexual activities, indecent dressing and so on, could be traced from lack of self discipline and poor parenting. With these damaging emotions, the tendency for them to achieve their potential and future plan is very limited. Like Harry S Truman stated, “If I want to be great, I have to win the victory over myself…self discipline.”
It is pertinent to note that self-control is a lifelong journey because it is found in every aspect of our daily life, and it is the most powerful weapon against failure and delinquency. We must also note that one mistake in self-control does not mean that one lacks self-control. Self-control is increasingly challenging and a process achieved through conscious and steady practice of emotional intelligence and self-discipline. Apart from that, studies have shown that prayer, meditation, good company, reducing stress, and having enough sleep can help boost the ability to enhance self-control.
“Without self-discipline, success is impossible, period.” – Lou Holtz
BIBLE VERSE
Proverbs 25:28
Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control
PROVERB
*Self-control makes the man. A man without discipline is a boy full of reactions rather than a man of good actions.” – *Greek Proverb*
RIDDLE
You can hear me and control me, but never see me or touch me. What am I?
Amara Ann Unachukwu
