On that beautiful Sunday morning at the Church of Visitation, Festac, Lagos, I was standing at one corner of the church, listening to the Priest’s Sermon. There was no seat because those who came early had occupied the seats, and those who came late were standing at the back. I came late with many others, and we were all standing.
Engrossed in the Sermon, I noticed a young girl kept a seat by my side and tapped my hand to sit wearing a beautiful smile. I looked at her with curiosity, and she pointed at a beautiful lady, seated at the other corner, far from me. I looked at the lady, she waved at me with a smile and I waved back. I sat on the seat, wondering how and why because I didn’t recognize that face from anywhere. When the church dismissed, I went to her to say thank you. She said it was nothing, that she saw me and told her kid sister to bring a seat for me as well, after bringing hers. I didn’t bother to ask where she got the seat from because obviously, there was no seat in church the time I came. I thanked her sincerely and left.
Since then, we greet whenever we see in church and one Sunday, we sat together and exchanged pleasantries and phone numbers. From then on, we became friends. This was in 2008, she was newly married and I was single.
When I got close to her, I noticed she was not only kind but full of native wisdom, very homely, fashionable, and God-fearing. I loved those rare combinations, and they endeared me closer. When I got married, we lived close and saw each other once in a while. She had a baby one week before my wedding, I told her not to bother coming, but she insisted and came. I never took that sacrifice for granted.
Ivory is one friend who’s genuinely happy with your good news, gives you earnest opinions, encourages and prays with you, and is also firm in her decisions. She understands symbiotic friendship so well and always ensures she adds value.
However, the idea of this essay is not about how nice Ivory was or is. It is a topic I have given close attention to exploring for decades now. In my findings, I would say that it takes only a spark to light a fire and that kindness ripples both inwards and outwards and creates lasting impacts in our lives.
The kindness of Ivory 16 years ago still sticks out in my memory today. I felt so worthy, so loved, and so honoured because she sighted me from a distance and chose me out of many people who were standing on that day. She left me with more than just a seat, a brief smile, or a wave of hand. She left me with a lesson, which is to remember that extraordinary acts of kindness can happen at any place and any time and that kindness and love make heavy marks in people’s lives. It rippled in me a wave of the need to touch those in my life as much as I could.
We all have the opportunity to be kind in life. Either to say something nice, do something good, treat people in a friendly way, show expressions of care, encourage people, offer a little help, smile at them, wave at them, hug them and so on. By doing these, we create a ripple effect of kindness that radiates in inward and outward directions. The inward direction makes us happy, and the outward makes others happy.
No matter how cruel or unkind this world seems, It’s hard to find someone who hasn’t experienced kindness, care, or love in any form. Just as everyone has a story of events from their past that caused them unhappiness, they also have stories that cause them happiness. The issue is, how often do we recognize and acknowledge the happy stories? We often walk past it, overlook it, ignore it, or forget it. We need to acknowledge kindness enough. It strengthens relationships, builds positive emotions, broadens the range of acceptance, and propels the act of giving.
Some brief encounters are more than a contact or conversation. Some moments feel like a norm but so often aren’t. It may have cost nothing, but it has made a fundamental difference in someone’s mind and life. Those are the small things that make a difference, and we’re privileged to choose whether to align to the positive or the negative.
Don’t you think we’re overlooking some positive impacts and clinging to the negative? It’s time we celebrated the small moments and the small impacts and focused more on the good in life. There’s no getting around the fact that life should be celebrated more than it is criticized.
To that growing child and young adult, build the foundation of your life with kindness. It doesn’t have to be big gestures, it doesn’t demand hard work, it doesn’t involve riches, and you need absolutely nothing to take the steps. You have the ability, you only need to cultivate the habit and make it a lifestyle because in it we find the warmth of human connection, the happiness of life and the beauty of the world.
✍️Amara Ann Unachukwu
