In a world that is fast-paced and driven by insatiable wants, societal influence and the desire to belong or maintain a particular class, it is important to recognize when want is enough and to have an idea of what matters in life. Most societal vices of today engineered by children are results of greed and discontentment.
As a parent, it is your responsibility to set the tone for your kids in every aspect of family life which includes planning and budgeting. In every family, children should understand the dynamics of their individual family life, the concept of budget and expenditure, and the need to be patient and contented. They should be made to focus more on gratitude and contentment than on want and desire.
To be contented simply means to be happy for what you have and be patience for you do not have. Familes are different in sizes, positions, pursuits and circumstances. There is no family that is the best or the least. No matter our status in life, we will definitely come across people we are better than as well as people that are better than us. It is vital for parents to know and pass these facts to their children in their parenting journey. Teach them what contentment looks like. Set a budget and agree with them to stick to it. Communicate with them and the entire family and let them know what their expectations should be. If there are adjustments on the list, let them know and make them understand the reason.
These may be hard to put into practice but it is obtainable. The most important key to achieving it is constant communication. Through communication, children should understand the family living standard and be contented with it, they should cut some luxurious expectations and know when to adjust in expenditure or expectations.
More often than not, parents should ask their children questions like;
Do you know that someone is happy with less than what you have? Do you know that happiness does not come to those who fail to appreciate what they have? Are you aware that there’s always something to be thankful for? Do you know that the air you breath, the health you enjoy is enough to be happy? Do you realize that true happiness lies within you? Do you know that you can own everything in the world but without contentment, you’ll feel empty? Are you aware that contentment is natural wealth while luxury is artificial poverty? Do you know that money can buy happiness but not contentment? There are many quotes on contentment that you can recite to them as well.
More practical ways to teach contentment
- Model contentment. Feelings of contentment starts with the parents. If they’re not contented, it will be difficult for the children to be. Parents should always appreciate what they have and be patient for what they don’t have.
- Parents should have their kids create their wish lists. This means the things they want to have. Every human being, children and adults have wishes that may not be achievable in the present. As a parent, know your children wish in life.
- Let them know the ones that are achievable, in short and long term basis. Make them understand that every wish is achievable but planned or budgeted based on income level.
- Set a plan for the short term list in order of priority. If their choices are not in order, rearrange it for them and let them know why.
- They must understand the difference between want and need. Also in making choices for their need, they must consider their age and the usefulness to their present circumstance.
- Plan and make their big choice a reality. This should not come often and may be a long term achievement. Buy their choice toys, wears and gadgets once in a while to create room for appreciation and reduce chances of entitlement.
- Gratitude is a must. No dime spent should be taken for granted. They must say thank you and mean it at all times. Yes, it is their right to be taken care of but also their responsibility to be appreciative.
- Limit comparison. Sometimes we compare our lives with others without knowing because we feel some people live the ‘perfect life’ or ‘have everything’ but these are mere assumptions. It is important to recognize the things we have that others don’t have and be grateful for them to avoid feelings of discontentment.
- Inculcate the habit of giving in them. No matter how little, make your children understand that there is always something they can give, from their lollipops to the little services or acts of kindness they can offer. With this, they learn to appreciate what they have and be happy for what they can offer. Through this, it’s easy for them to cultivate a habit of gratitude and contentment.
- Teach them family values. This is always crucial in every of our topic of discourse. Every child must understand where they come from, their culture and family traditions. Some behaviour have zero tolerance level in some culture and such boundaries must be created. If they are in a foreign land, they must understand the different cultural values between their origin and their location.
- Sometimes, they should earn the things they get. This is by setting of tasks of them, appreciating job weldone with a gift, to make them recognize that it takes efforts to achieve anything. This will make them to celebrate and appreciate small wins and be contented with what they have.
It is pertinent to note that children struggle with contentment without their parents knowing because in their school, there’s class difference and comparison of who wears the best shoes, uses the best school bag, makes the best hair etc. This makes it crucial for parents to often communicate contentment and make their children not feel inferior, intimated or be bullied by their circumstance. They must understand and respect the reality of the present which they cannot change and hope for the future which can change. Being positive and optimistic in this waiting period is as important as being contented with the present.
Amara Ann Unachukwu
