It’s common knowledge that the world celebrates high achievers and honours perfectionists. So, everyone strives to do better and reach for the best. I was raised in an environment where pushing your limits was the norm, a common mindset in many Igbo families.
I remember my school days vividly, nights spent reading in a daze just to secure top grades and make my parents proud. I’d study till daybreak, chase every course with intensity, maintain perfect attendance, copy all the course notes, memorize the content of textbooks, and dedicate all my time to academics. Success felt rigid and exhausting, measured by grades and external expectations. It wasn’t just about passing an exam, it had to be an A. Anything less felt like a failure.
While the pursuit of success is important, and high performance valuable, we must pause and ask…
What truly defines success? It’s not just about fixed outcomes. Real success is fueled by curiosity, effort, and finding joy along the way. It’s not merely about achieving, it’s about thriving, evolving, and engaging with life wholeheartedly.
Perfectionism is an illusion so is having a perfect grade in class. We need to shift away from this pressure and embrace a mindset of experimentation, passion, and lifelong learning.
Children, especially, deserve to grow free from the burden of academic perfectionism. Success should feel like a playground, dynamic, joyful, and ever-changing. It should celebrate curiosity, creativity, and the courage to try, even when failure is possible. It’s about building confidence through play, understanding that effort matters, and discovering joy in the journey. Failure, when seen rightly, becomes a powerful tool for growth, not a measure of inadequacy.
Sadly, many parents and schools still academic equate success with grades. And for some, perfection means academic excellence. But if perfect grades guaranteed success in life, everyone with top marks in school would be thriving, and we know that’s not the case. That’s why some people who came out with ‘flying colours’ from school are struggling today. Success is beyond academic excellence, there’s more to it.
Here’s the message:
For Parents: Celebrate effort and improvement, not just results. Let your child know that failure is a part of learning. Ask open-ended questions like, what did you enjoy learning today? Rather than, Did you get an A?
For Educators:
Create classroom cultures that reward risk-taking and creativity. Redefine success through projects, collaboration, and personal growth, not just test scores.
For Young People:
Allow yourself to try, fail, and try again. Don’t fear mistakes, they are stepping stones. Chase passion, not just perfection. Your value isn’t tied to a grade.
For Everyone:
Start conversations about redefining success. Encourage environments where joy, discovery, and well-being matter just as much as performance.
Let’s redefine success.
Let’s make it a playground, not a pressure cooker. And most importantly, let’s give our children the freedom to grow, fail, explore, and succeed on their own joyful terms.
✍️ Amara Ann Unachukwu.
