Jia Tolentino, in his published essay titled, ‘Always be Optimistic’, narrated the burden women feel to look attractive and appealing. The constant dissatisfaction with their appearance and pressure to enhance their beauty with anything within their reach and always be “‘optimizing”. This pressure is felt not only by women but by men too and increasingly by the younger folks of both genders.
The pressure is not only on the looks, it’s also on the need to be seen as successful, to have a good job, good income, rewarding career, perfect family, nice car and house, and to live a good life. It’s very costly, and many are buying the pressure, not minding the price.
Social media and its obsession with looks and the ‘I have arrived’ mentality is also not helping matters. Integrity, authenticity, and honesty are being compromised for these reasons.
As a result of this, some people have been disappointed, dispirited, damaged, and depressed. They feel they have failed themselves in the chase to be ‘optimizing’ and perhaps have lost friends and relationships for not meeting up, and it has eaten into their self-esteem.
Looking good is very good. Aspiring for a great life is great. Being conscious of these is wonderful. But being obsessed with them to the detriment of one’s life and mental well-being is the concern.
While parents and teachers encourage and support children and young adults to dream big, aim high, and follow trends to look good, they must teach them that there’s a big difference between forging your path in authenticity and seeking artificial validation out of pressure.
They must understand that there is a gap between what they feel, what they want, and who they’re working to become.
They must be reminded that for God to create them in His image and likeness means that they have beauty and abilities in abundance because God never creates failures.
They must be encouraged to acknowledge the uniqueness of their beauty and their abilities, and in authenticity, nurture them through hard work and patience until they come to fruition.
We are in the peak ‘optimizing’ period where the pressure to spend and spend, to impress and impress, to belong and belong, is high.
Being authentic is spending within your means and refusing to be pressured by the demands of the season. It’s knowing and living your age and status unapologetically. It’s accepting that we are different, and so are our times and seasons.
To every child and young adult, choose to challenge the status quo of artificial validation and push self-obsession away. Resist the pressure to be seen as one who has ‘arrived’ and build your life in the realest and most authentic way.
John the Baptist remained his authentic self and resisted the pressure to be the centre of attraction even when he had the chance, but rather pushed the focus on Jesus when he said, “Someone greater is coming after me, and I’m not fit to carry his sandals”. He remained focused on his acceptance as a mere instrument of God, whose job is to proclaim the arrival of Jesus.
Like John the Baptist, we must be authentic and focused and refuse to be swayed by the pressures around us.
✍️ Amara Ann Unachukwu
