I remember when my son was much younger, his usual haircut was afro galax. He was barbed only this hair style for five consecutive years because it made him look unique or so I thought. Up to his 6th year of age, that was his only hair style.
One day we had a visitor who spent the night with us. We had some interactions with her before dinner. The following morning, she greeted me with the question of why we chose to give our son that particular hair style. I was surprised because I saw nothing in the style and read no meaning into it. I told her we liked it. She said we should cut the hair that it’s linked to a popular satanic singer who is known only with that haircut. She was delving more into the spiritual but I didn’t let her finish, I told her to forget about that superstitious belief. I respect her so much because she is a mother and a grandmother, old enough to be my mother. She didn’t press further, we changed topic.
For some reasons, that her statement kept ringing in my ears everyday even months after her visit. My son was very hyperactive and fiery as a child. Anytime he plays too rough or freaky, I would remember what that woman said and it kept barging on my conscience. Just like the saying, what you don’t know cannot kill you, the knowledge of it kept haunting me.
One day, I asked myself, what would you lose if you cut this boys hair? Is it not better you cut it and have peace than allow this woman’s statement disturb your mind all the time? Whether she was true or not, why not cut the hair, forget about whatever reason that may be behind it and free yourself? I eventually cut the hair and that thought died a natural death.
This story is only a personal experience. I am not in any way condemning that hair style or being mythical. Another parent may be very comfortable with it and won’t feel the way I felt. The lesson is, parents can actually do without some synthetic and imitated looks they give to their children especially when they have better and more restful alternatives.
Lets discuss
In our previous article, we laid emphasis on the importance of observing children closely in the process of nurturing them and on nature (fixed) and nurture (flexible) factors. Nurturing a child is like a baton in a relay race handed over from parents to their children. The more serious parents take this race, the higher chances the children have to win the race of life. A child’s look is part of the nurture that parents give and this could determine what a child grows up to become in life.
From the standpoint of every religious view, there is the spirit and the physical being. This goes to say that there is a correlation between our outward appearance and our inward personality. A person’s character, even without any interaction, could be deciphered either by look, speech, movement, countenance, facial expression etc.
The question is, as a parent, do you dress your children to represent how you want them to behave? Do you teach them that carriage speaks alot about personality? Do you teach them that the way they sit, comport themselves, the attitude they give to others, their response to situations, the smile and frown on their faces etc are all significant parts of them?
A good meal should look delicious in the eyes first before being tasted and confirmed in the tongue. Many people have been recognized and favored by their looks and carriage only, because it is the first impression given before the real person is unveiled through interactions.
Thus, parents and teachers are implored to admonish children not only to be responsible but to look responsible. Teach them family and healthy cultural values, disapprove and dispute indecent dressing, be intentional about what they wear in and out of the house or in school and don’t forget to educate them whenever you correct them.
Let’s remember that what children watch or learn has less effect on them than what they wear because the cloth they wear is closer to their mind and represents who they are more than what they see.
Before welcoming any accessorised fashion trend especially as it concerns children, parents should ask questions like, what do I stand to gain or achieve? Does it represent the child and family well? Is the child even of age to appreciate that look? If this child grows to continue in this fashion pattern, would I be proud of him or her? Can this child still look good without them? Are there better options that I’m more comfortable for them to put on? Does revealing this part of the body make them look better than others or have any advantage?
Just like God is interested in our inward personality, He is also concerned with our physical looks because that is what reveals the glory of His creative abilities. So we should be conscious of representing Him well with the beauty He has given us. We are God’s most complex and amazing creation and we reflect His own beauty. God places some value on appearances; if He did not, we would all look the same.
In conclusion, parents must instill the values of good and decent looks in their children to look responsible and to be responsible. The decadence in looks amongst youths is getting worse by the day and it is really worrisome. Technological advancement and 21st century wokeness has already taken a toll on the children, parents must sit up to bridge the gap to save the next generation.
Amara Ann Unachukwu
