Before every parenting journey began, most parents had great plans of what to do to make the journey wonderful. With great expectations, they envisage being the best parents to their children, having a loving relationship with them, and raising them with the right parenting skills. They work hard for their children to be ‘the head and not the tail’ and be ‘best amongst their equals’.
And so they started the journey full of energy, making sweet resolutions, setting the right goals, meeting financial needs, and being overly intentional to do their best throughout the journey.
Then, somewhere along the line, reality hits. Some plans are thwarted by eventualities and unforeseen circumstances. One challenge or the other stands in the way of these dreams, either from the family, work, society, or from the same children they strive to give the best. The resolutions started resolving against the plans they set aside, and they got crushed under the weight of their expectations.
In all these possible challenges, the pain of seeing any of their children exhibit defiant behaviour or choose unhealthy tracks hits differently. The letdown, anger, and frustrations drain the body, soul, and spirit. What am I not doing well? They would always ask.
This is a common experience in parenting. There is always that child in a family that gives more headaches than others. One that is more academically backward. That challenges the parent’s authority. That bends the family rules. That tests boundaries. That is morally a nui*sance. That’s generally a thorn in the flesh. This challenge could be prevalent either in their early years, teenage years, or even early adulthood.
Draining, right? YES
Guess what?
Those traits are a normal part of childhood development and also what makes parenting interesting. Bracing up is the best way to go, and giving up is not an option.
In times like this, Arise oh Parents!
Refuel, reinforce, re-strategise, and refocus. Be actively present. Such children, most times, are the star of the family and your ability to redirect those negative actions into positive attitudes by addressing the underlying reasons behind it may be the turning point in that child’s life. Time has proven that strong children grow up to be successful adults. Being intentional is all you need, not being perfect.
When it feels overwhelming and frustrating, arise! Find the energy, stick to the tiny actions that yield significant results, and maintain the right lane. It’s only a matter of time, and things will fall in the right places.
✍️Amara Ann Unachukwu.
