As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
— John F. Kennedy
I remembered this quote yesterday after I overheard two teenagers discussing while waiting for their school bus. One said, “I don’t care if Mum uses her whole savings but I’m not resuming school next term if I don’t have an iPhone”. And the other teen affirmed the ultimatum. It took everything in me to refrain from interrupting them, in a country where everyone is minding their business. I told myself, well, whatever you tell them won’t make any difference because this error has been built for years.
I kept wondering and asking myself, in a world where children feel entitled to everything they desire, how does gratitude feel in the equation?
With the social media-induced abundance we live in, how do we elicit thankfulness in a child?
Then I came to the realization that what shapes the paradigm for evaluating a thankful child is not merely by saying thank you but by living it.
The instance of the iPhone may be hard to relate to many families but ingratitude and entitlement start from the little demands a child makes. From insisting that he prefers a particular snack over the other or a dress, shoes, and toys over the other. It is good to have a choice but to insist on the choice while the parents oblige is where the error lies. This gradually builds ingratitude and entitlement until it’s hard to control.
Deduced from John F. Kennedy’s quote, gratitude is lived not expressed. To say thank you is easy but to be thankful takes the conviction of continuous actions. Much has been said about feeling of entitlement so let’s focus on gratitude and why children must make it an early habit.
Gratitude shapes a lot of attitudes that people exhibit from childhood till adulthood. Studies have shown that…
A grateful child becomes a less envious and less materialistic adult.
A grateful child is a happy adult with fewer expectations and a minimal tendency to depression.
A grateful child is an adult who is less aggressive, unkind and irrational.
A grateful child becomes a patient, humble and wise adult.
Generally, gratitude significantly makes one more optimistic, positive and resilient. It encourages a more appreciative outlook on life and improves well-being and happiness. Therefore, It is not enough to express gratitude verbally. It has to be both in affirmation and in lifestyle.
Children must learn not only to say regular thank you, but to practice gratitude in the real sense of it.
✍️ Amara Ann Unachukwu
