If you’re a parent of more than one child, you’ve probably realised something both amazing and baffling, no two children are the same. Even in the same home, with the same rules, routines, and so on, they can be worlds apart in how they act, react, and grow.
One might be bubbly and bold, the other quiet and cautious. One thrives on structure, while the other seems allergic to it. And here’s the truth many parents discover along the way, you can’t parent every child the same way, and that’s not just okay, it’s necessary.
📌Accept that each child is different.
Children are born with their own personalities. Some are natural leaders, some are deep thinkers. Some need lots of affection, while others value their space. As a parent, resist the urge to compare. Instead of saying, Why can’t you be more like your brother?
📌Adapt Your Discipline Style.
One child might crumble after a gentle warning, another might need firm boundaries and consistent follow-through. What feels too harsh for one could be too soft for another.
Notice what actually works for each child. Discipline should teach, not shame. Keep it respectful, clear, and age-appropriate. And remember, calm consistency usually wins over chaos.
📌Speak Their Learning Language.
Some kids love books. Others learn better through doing. Some need pictures, charts, and movement. Others want to talk it out. Trying to teach every child the same way often leads to frustration on both sides.
Observe how your child learns best and tailor your help. A child who learns by moving might do better studying while walking around or using flashcards they can flip through with their hands.
📌Be Flexible With How You Show Love.
Love languages apply to kids, too. One child may beam after a cuddle and a kind word. Another may feel most loved when you play with them or do a project together.
Ask yourself, What makes this child feel seen and loved? Then do that regularly, even if it’s not your natural way of showing affection.
📌Give Space Where It’s Needed.
Stay Close Where It Counts. Not all kids want to talk about their feelings at the dinner table. Some open up while doing their chores, or at bedtime, or when you’re just sitting quietly nearby.
Follow their lead. Create safe, judgment-free moments where you child knows they can come to you without pressure. Just being there consistently means more than you think.
📌Manage Your Expectations (and Be Kind to Yourself)
It’s natural to hope our children will be a certain way but real growth happens when we accept them for who they are. That doesn’t mean letting go of values, it means letting go of rigid expectations.
Remind yourself, your job isn’t to raise perfect kids. Your job is to raise authentic, capable, and loved human beings. That’s enough.
In conclusion, the best parents aren’t the ones with perfect plans. They’re the ones who adapt, stay curious, and meet each child where they are. What works today might not work tomorrow. And that’s okay.
By staying open, observant, and intentional, you’re doing more than enough. And that’s what truly matters.
✍️ Amara Ann Unachukwu
