Friendship is an integral part of life and having healthy friends can be important in many ways. I have been blessed by good friends who have made life more meaningful for me and have supported and motivated me both in good and bad times. One of them is Clara.
I met Clara at a wedding in Lagos, in 2007. She was a colleague of the groom and I was a friend to a colleague of the groom. We sat at the same table but not together and we got introduced. Clara and her colleagues were in uniform and were given a table as important guests. I was the only one at that table on mufti. While others sat, waiting to be served, Clara was everywhere ensuring that things were organized. She did not only serve food and drinks, she asked guests if they’d eaten and whether they needed anything. I was observing her until she came to me to ask the same. I told her I was fine and commended her. She said to me, “That’s me, I can’t help it”. I also noticed that she loves to compliment people, either their dress, hair, makeup, or anything. She must say something nice with a smile. That is Clara’s personality and that has never changed.
After the wedding, we left in one of her colleague’s cars and were dropped to our different destinations. We chatted on the way and exchanged contacts. She said she liked my shoes and asked where I bought them. I told her I would direct her when she was ready. A few days later, she called me, I directed her and that was how we started speaking on the phone and became friends.
When I got married, Clara was one of my bridesmaids. She got married a few weeks earlier so we planned our wedding same period. I noticed a great deal of selflessness, commitment, and hard work in whatever Clara does. She’s also very bold with words and very open with her demands and feelings. She tells you the way it is without mincing words and encourages you to take the right steps. Even though she’s older than me, she’s so humble, so understanding and simple. Above all, she’s a lover of God, a prayer warrior with a very strong spirit.
I have a lot of beautiful experiences to recount with Clara but unfortunately, they cant contain here. Clara is usually the first person to come to my house whenever I give birth. She would clean, wash, cook, and sometimes stay for a few days, going to work from my house, before returning to her house. She’s usually the cheerleader of any birthday party I organize both at home and in the office. She gives lovely ideas and beautiful vibes to any occasion. I remember when we did the child dedication of my daughter, Clara came, saw the dress I wanted to wear my daughter, and told me she didn’t like it, that there should be better choices for her. She went to my daughter’s wardrobe and got something so lovely for her to wear and that choice was the best of all.
Who knows me without knowing Clara? My parents, siblings, staff, and other friends know her. Even my relatives too cos we visit my parents together sometimes. Clara has accommodated me in her house for 6 months and protected my peace throughout that period. That very gesture, I’ll forever appreciate. Whenever I’m in urgent need of staff at the office, Clara is the first person I would call and in a few days, it’s sorted. She was my chief marketer and introduced clients to the office every now and then. Even when I relocated from Nigeria, Clara was there to help set up my school, recommended teachers, and did the rally and publicity involved. She had my back and rooted for me absolutely.
Have you found a friend like Clara? A friend who is selfless, trustworthy, protective, caring, loving, loyal, understanding, kind, joyful and God fearing. Identifying these qualities genuinely can be challenging but it’s easy if intentionality and discerning wisdom are applied. It’s okay to have only casual friends but studies have revealed that having true and dependable friends can build emotional stability, and self-esteem, reduce anxiety, and leave undeniable impacts of happiness and blessedness in life. It’s the reality of true friendship and I can confirm that.
True connections of friendship are rare, strong, and dynamic. They evolve through different phases in life and breakthrough challenges and difficulties, yielding different dimensions of happiness, love, and joy. I have seen people who became friends from childhood till their adult lives and they stayed true and committed to the friendship. The reward of such friendship is usually immeasurable.
It is important to know that true friendships are nurtured in both ways by both parties. Setting a standard of true friendship starts from having the consciousness of loving and supporting each other in good and bad times and also understanding that sacrifice, forgiveness, and tolerance are required from both parties.
There are transitions in life that some friendships don’t survive. Growth and change may happen and create a gap. It is natural and can occur, that’s why it’s good to make the most of every moment with true friends and be a true friend too. Even when some friendship are affected by situations in life, the memories created, the bonds shared, the lessons learned, the comfort gained, the joy and peace experience, and the many other impacts felt are what keep life beautifully going.
Forging intentional friendship can be challenging but it’s worth the effort. If you haven’t learnt this, you really haven’t learnt much in life.
✍️ Amara Ann Unachukwu
