Honesty is a virtue endorsed by God and man. Dishonesty is the opposite, the act of giving wrong information in a bid to deceive. Dishonesty or lying is very common in both children and adults. It is believed that lies are sometimes unavoidable and may be justifiable, depending on the intention.
Morality is rooted in the capacity to live right with ourselves and with others. Honesty is at the centre of morality because it is hinged on the relationship we have with others. People who desire to manipulate others through lies assault the principles of morality because they undermine the capacity of others to make rational choices.
Research has shown that teenagers lie more than other age groups because of the developmental changes they experience, which affect their emotional regulations. Between 13 to 15 years when they start to develop the theory of mind and the urge for independence, they begin to lack the courage to own up to their actions, start to challenge authorities and their boundaries, to disregard adults in school and at home, to become secretive and very protective of their belongings, to have sudden change in their circles and unwillingness to associate, to have anxiety or discomfort and many other behavioural changes which may be verbal or non verbal. All these lead to instances of dishonesty.
It is at this developmental stage that lies are groomed, and the line between truth and falsehood begins to blur. If care is not taken, these lies become a habit and may lead to personality disorder in the future. However, these changes differ from children and are determined by other external factors like family and environmental factors. Thus, while the changes are more prevalent in some children than others, the signs of these changes are the same and are compelled by a growing sense of care and the urge to venture into new exploits.
When this developmental acquisition mature into adulthood, it causes some psychological fall outs as seen in some youths and young adults of today. It can breed distrust and suspicion, strain relationships with friends and family, cause direspect and misunderstanding, bad attitude to work, stealing and may even result in legal consequences. Some have led to extreme conditions like aggression, violence, narcissism, delinquency, and loss of self-control.
Besides the developmental factor,
dishonest and deceptive activities in children and youths are mainly influences from home and/or school. Most parents lie to their children sometimes in a bid to correct them. They make up some stories they tell their children to scare them or to stop them from a habit. These children grow up to find out the lies, which makes them more comfortable to tell lies or manipulate the truth at the expense of others.
Parents need to do better with open communication with their children, stay abreast with behavioural changes, create an environment that values honesty, encourage effective understanding, discipline with caution and follow up on their children behavioural changes.
Liars live a coward life, and when a lie is told, someone’s right to the truth is stolen.
BIBLE VERSE
Colossians 3:9
Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices
PROVERB
Honest men fear neither the light nor the dark. ~ English Proverb
RIDDLE
Crack this riddle, take the prize; Cheat, and I shall know your lies; For I hide in your words, you see; A bond that begets your honesty. What am I?
Amara Ann Unachukwu
