Our topics on moral instruction and character class are centred on the practical application of value, respect, feelings, manners, courtesy, being civilized, cultured, nice, and humble towards others. These are behaviours that are socially good and acceptable amongst individuals in a society. Politeness finds its meaning in each of the above listed behaviours. Politeness is the sign of good manners in speech and action. It is about being aware and conscious of how others are treated.
Because the focus of our articles is on children and youths, we’re limiting ourselves to the discourse within this scope. Ordinarily, both adults and children, young and old, need to imbibe the virtues of moral practices in all standards.
Politeness is indispensable in every relationship, formal and informal. It is common knowledge that expressions like; Thank you, Sorry, Please, Excuse me, How are you and so on, evidences good manners. Conducts like knocking on closed doors, not making fun of people, not interrupting others while they’re talking, holding doors for others to pass, asking before taking things, and so on, indicate good character. There are thousands of practical examples of good manners, some of which have been discussed in our previous articles.
Beyond these, many children of this digital era have bastardized the codes of politeness. They speak anyhow and act anyhow, without considering who they’re talking to, what they’re saying, and how it affects others. We now live in an era of informal ways where essentials are trivialized, without giving a hoot of whose ox is gored. Kids call adults (their teachers, aunts and uncles) by their first names, the use of Sir/Ma is becoming old fashioned, showing of courtesy is now optional, talking back at adults is interpreted as being confident. Children and youths are obstinate to common understanding, they impulsively give responses, force their opinion on others, make rash decisions, and so on.
Etiquette and respect is a weird concept to the present day youths, politeness has gone out without a come back, rudeness is modeled by old and young, manners are no longer taken seriously at homes and in schools, parents claim to be their children’s ‘best friend’ to the detriment of moral instructions and discipline, electronic devices have created breeding ground for rudeness and doing so anonymously through social media, insensitive social media remarks have introduced myriad of opportunities that welcome rudeness at all corners of interactions.
In the past generations, social interactions were primarily based on eye observations and close contacts. Presently, it has been exchanged by electronic devices that shift the mind and focus of children and youths to these devices, thereby missing the opportunities to learn politeness and social skills. That is why a child can be in a serious conversation with an adult and be pressing phone or playing games or watching television. It’s a generation where rudeness is deciphered as ‘wokeness’ and ‘you have no right to judge me’ is the new normal.
In the words of Josh Billings, one of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness. The importance of politeness can not be over emphasized, it is rather underused. Parents need to wake up, borrow some tactics from the past, instruct and instil discipline to children, especially those contending with politeness.
BIBLE VERSE
Titus 3:2
To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people
PROVERB
Polite words open iron gates.
Croatian Proverb
RIDDLE
I am the solution to finding what it is you’re looking for. People do this every day to find out more. Who am I?
Amara Ann Unachukwu
