I watched the video of a girl who was disvirged by her biological father at the age of 10. She was manipulated not to speak by her father, who continued in the abominable sexual abuse. According to her, she told her mother who did nothing about it, so she thought it was normal until she came of age to know it was wrong and decided to break the silence.
Stories like this happen in dysfunctional families in different ways and forms. It may not be a case of sexual abuse, but other cases of early life trauma or Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE).
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are childhood experiences that have a negative impact on the growth, development, and physical cum mental well-being of children. The thoughts, feelings, and behaviours of adults are direct results of their childhood experiences. Some of these experiences are highly stressful, extremely traumatic, and tough situations that occur during childhood and developed through adolescence into adulthood. Some are single events, some are prolonged threats, and some are breaches of safety or body integrity. Many of these experiences are quite significant and conspicuous that parents are aware of them. Some are internal unresolved traumatic experiences that children develop within, without the notice or knowledge of their parents.
It is the responsibility of parents and carers to keep children safe, watch over them and protect them from danger, trauma, and any odd experience that is capable of destroying their psychological being. It is also important for families to adopt healthy lifestyles and positive parenting skills that will shape their childrens’ future for good. More importantly, parents should be observant enough to know when the behaviour of their children starts changing significantly, and find out if the cause(s) are internal or external. They should also be disposed to offer support immediately in order to help manage and overcome it on time.
Some events are slow or quick triggers to ACE. Parents are advised to look at the internal and external factors that are likely to cause ACE. These include;
- Extreme case of physical abuse.
- Sexual abuse of different forms.
- Mismanaged emotional abuse.
- Living with a drug addict.
- Living with a substance abuser.
- Living with a pornographic addict.
- Exposure to physical/domestic violence.
- Living with an ex convict or a criminal mind.
- Living with a mentally deranged person.
- Losing a parent through divorce, abandonment, or death.
- Living in an environment full of hate, scorn, and disdain.
- Living in a fetish and diabolical environment.
- A morally decadent environment.
- A highly primitive and backward environment.
- A very lonely setting.
A lot of factors shape our personality. Some of these factors are influenced by time and age, while some are developed to form our personality in the future. Children need to be giuded at every stage in their life. Most times, they deal with issues internally for long, and by the time they voice it out, it has eaten deep into them making them feel damaged, used, worthless, and terrible.
At any stage the effects of ACE start manifesting, the ability to manage and deal with it is very important for parents and carers. Oftentimes, ACEs, if not well managed, could lead to health problems in adulthood. It could increase the risk of mental health problems, violence, and abuse. It could lead to isolation, aggressiveness, deep sadness, anxiety, mood swings, and so on. Research has shown that 1 in 3 diagnosed mental health challenges in adulthood directly relate to unmanaged ACEs.
ACEs can also affect the ability for one to recognize and manage her emotions, the ability to make and keep good and healthy relationships, the ability to manage friends and work relationships, the general social interaction with others. ACE can make an extrovert become introverted and vice versa.
The longer ACE lasts in children, the greater the impact it’s likely to have on their future development and health condition. Most behaviours we see in adults are shaped by the odd experiences they had as children. ACEs affect everyone differently, depending on the person, the family, the environment, and other contributing factors. Preventive measures like psychological and emotional support, good dieting, good communication and general positive parenting helps to tackle stress related disorders early in children. If prevention was not achieved, overcoming ACE becomes the next goal. Parents and professionals need to give children with ACE the opportunity to discuss their experiences. They need to be involved in rendering support at all times and all levels. Then, social support and a healthy community are good tools to neutralize the effects of ACE.
Again, family therapy is required from parents to observe, support, guide, and counsel their children through the period. There are different therapies to use in family and professional levels. These include.
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBY), which attends to depression, anxiety, and trauma, needs.
- Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing Therapy ( EMDR), which helps to remember difficult experiences and relate it in a healthy way.
- The therapy of mind, where children are encouraged to work on their mind positively, to overcome the challenges.
Not everyone who has experienced ACE may need support. Some are resilient enough to work on their mind, change their environment, their thoughts and disposition and were able to overcome it. To some, they need mild or deep support to overcome it. No matter the case, ACE is a very strong influence that threatens the peace and well-being of a person and affects ones behaviour and personality.
Amara Ann Unachukwu
