Unfortunately, bullying is a common problem in both children and adults. This article will focus on bullying in children because they are more vulnerable and more affected. Studies have shown that one in five children are bullied.
What is bullying? Who are the bullies? Who are the bullied? Why bully and what are the effects and possible solutions of bullying in children?
Normally, children have playful experiences that are sometimes harmful. This is not bullying. Bullying is a targeted and repeated act of aggression with an intention to cause harm. Bullying can be physical (causing a physical harm to a person or their belonging), verbal (hurting through deep spoken words) or social ( isolating someone or sharing a private information or gossiping about the person).
Who are the bullies?
Some bullies are easily identified because they display overt behavior like kicking, name calling, abusing, intimidating, physical attack etc. These actions are quite observable and can be easily identified. While some bullies display covert behavior like exclusion, segregation, rumors, whispering etc. Bullies aim at achieving recognition, respect, attention and influence at the expense of others. Some bullies have been bullied, so they bully as a way to seek revenge or to regain their self worth. Some parents or older siblings bully their children who in turn bully their friends or classmates. Sadly, some schools that have porous supervision or child protection practices/policies tend to encourage or breed more bullies.
The bullied
The bullied are the victims of bullying. The effect of bullying on children cannot be over emphasized.
Bullying in children is linked to many adverse effects ranging from physical, social, emotional, academic and mental issues. Children who are bullied are more likely to experience emotional problems like depression and anxiety, poor academic performance, alcohol/drug abuse, trauma, sexual activity and health issues are long term effects of bullying. Research has shown that both the long and short term impacts of bullying is disastrous in the life of a child.
If bullying continues in the life of a child, the effect it will have on her learning, mental health and overall wellbeing can likely affect her into adulthood.
Help that child avoid bullying
Just as it is important to ensure that children are not victims of bullies, it’s also important to ensure that they are not the bullies. Parents, schools and caregivers need to work hand in hand in this regard. Talk to that child about the importance of treating others as they would like to be treated. Tell them that everybody in life has struggles and challenges, so they must be kind to everyone. Let them know that an apology can go a long way in making someone feel better. Tell them to find distractions in anything playful whenever they feel like bullying. Let them know that they can talk to an adult when they feel displeased or frustrated with a classmates or friend. Reassure them that there are better solutions other than bullying.
It is the responsibility of the school, parents and adults to help children with bullying. There are legislations against bullying which could assist adults to help children fight and overcome bullying.
Possible Solutions
Parents and schools must ensure that they;
- Make physical contact with the bullies, advice and use a nice but firm tone to make them stop.
- Let them know the consequences of their actions on them and on the bullied.
- Employ all necessary means like telling stories, cracking jokes, citing instances to pass their message.
- Avoid confrontations and fight with the bullies. Effective communication is the best tool, speak to their conscience and make them see reasons with you.
- Talk to other adults around them for a collaborative effort. A plan can be set in this regard.
- Create barriers for them like changing their seats at home or in the classrooms or school bus.
7.Distract them with play gadgets, reading materials, fun movies, chores etc.
8.Talk to the child’s teacher to create anti-bullying practices or programs for the school, which takes positive steps to militate against bullying.
- Get involved in the school activities and parents programs so you can observe the environment, raise concerns if there are lapses and make contributions.
- If the school is not taking appropriate measures and the bullying is related to race, sex, color, disability or religion, you could involve external authorities and get the law by your side.
The solution of bullying starts from home where the well-being and safety of children are guarded by parents. Then at school, in classes or outdoor activities where teachers and other adults are responsible for the safety and well-being of children. Healthy relationships need to be in these places to prevent bullying while supporting children and youth to develop healthy social skills, to understand and respect eachother and to love and protect eachothers Interest. This sets the foundation for productive and harmonious society for children and possibly bid farewell to bullying.
Amara Ann Unachukwu
