Understanding responsibility is the background of a happy family and a healthy society. Most family and social problems occur because of lack of understanding and cooperation in discharging the duties and responsibilities expected of each person. Every human being has a responsibility; child, adult, family, society etc. A child needs to know what responsibility is and how to carry it out daily.
Suffice to say that most irresponsible adults of today are products of parental laxity to teach responsibility to their children. Responsible adults don’t just happen, they were children who were nurtured and saddled with responsibilities from their very young age.
From what age can a child be taught responsibility?
Responsibility of a child in the context of this article means inculcating values and consciousness in a child, to carry out age appropriate tasks. From age one when a child starts walking, there are some little things expected of her to be doing like lifting of arms when being dressed, helping with putting on or removing of a shirt, pants, buttons, socks etc. A child can learn to clean toys, bring light items for mum or dad etc. By so doing, they learn to understand the things around them, value people with them and establish a sense of care in the family.
Let’s not centre on the expected tasks for different ages of a child. The primary aim of this article is to arouse parents to instill the values of responsibility in their children by developing daily routines and to stop doing everything for them. Many parents are guilty of over pampering and so over protective of their children. Children should be taught to do the things they can do and how to do them by themselves. An over pampered child is an entitled child, an ingrate and a danger waiting to happen.
The basic steps to take as a parent in teaching a child responsibility are;
- Do it yourself.
- Do it together with your child.
- Watch your child do it alone.
- Let your child do it without your supervision.
Thus, it is a gradual process and parents must be active, tolerant and patient. They should endeavour to give clear and simple instructions, train their children in real-life situations, be resolute and firm, give room for corrections and give punishment when the need arises.
However, moderation is key! Children should be allowed to be children. There should be time for them to play, room for mistakes to be corrected, time to coach and guide them and time for them to take a break.
Benefits of raising a child with responsibilities
The benefits of responsibility in children cannot be over emphasized. The first glaring benefit is that it nurtures them to be self sufficient and less dependable. They develop that inner strength and zeal to do things on their own even in first attempts. It makes them have an independent mind that propels them to dare seemingly difficult tasks and overcome challenges.
Secondly, it sets them up for a smooth transition into adulthood. Childhood is a testing age for adulthood. Every child needs the experience to thrive on her own before being released into adulthood. It is a gradual process that must be monitored with age from childhood to adulthood.
Thirdly, it reinforces them to rise to greater expectations. A child with responsibility gets used to tasks from home which helps her to face tasks outside home, life challenges or even societal pressure. It’s been proven that most people who are suicidal were over pampered children or adults who found it difficult to deal with or navigate through tough times and difficult moments.
Fourthly, it enhances their chances of adapting to other environments. Have you seen a child who is lazy at home and visits another family where children there are the opposite. She can hardly fit in and will get frustrated and ashamed of seeing her mates doing chores that she cannot do. Now imagine the reverse being the case, that child will be seen as a hero in that family and a good influence to other children.
Furthermore, a child with a responsibility easily develops inner talents and self worth. Responsibility is an action. It is a disservice to a child’s talent to get things done for her. Children with responsibility are good at reminders, good researchers, remarkable executives, have sounds creative minds and mostly self employed in the future. They dare failure and tackle difficulties with ease!
Lastly, they feel proud and accomplished contributing in the family progress. They are happy to see their parents take pride in them and the society use them as example to others. Again, they take responsibility for their actions and easily apologise when they have erred. They make life easy!
One thing is certain. Children are naturally skillful, talented and intelligent. They have the strength and the zeal to carry out tasks. The same time, efforts and strength they take in playing is required in doing some chores. They only need that strength to be regulated and channelled appropriately. Time to read, time to play and time to do chores must be stipulated. Parents must be intentional in raising children with responsibility, bearing in mind that they are raising responsible adults in the future.
Amara Ann Unachukwu
